Go forth my army of adorable minions and preach the Good News of the Superior Claus
Farewell, Kris Kringle. Know this, I will carry on in your name. You may be leaving this world, but you are not leaving it to a villain. I swear. I will be Santa Claus. Better yet, with my unparalleled genius— and my boundless ambition— I’ll be a better Santa Claus than you ever were. From this day forth, I shall become… the Superior Santa Claus!
I was just a young, unthinking teenager… when I first became… Santa Claus… But the years have a way of slipping by…of changing the world about us… and every boy… sooner or later… must put away his toys… and become… a man!
You do with Santa what your society has done with all of nature’s gifts. You are not ready. You do not understand. Perhaps some day, you will be ready. Until then, Santa waits.